What do you think about horses? Sorry, wait, why is that even important? They’re still horses. Nothing you can ”think” will change that, even though this social media-”what are you doing right now, everybody cares, I promise”-arabian spring-society that we live in right now tries to tell you otherwise. Right?
Nope, not in Sweden at least. Here we have a Facebook page that’s amassing a huge following, and they’re all convinced. They all agree. They have seen the truth behind what we mortals call ”horses”. Ready? Here we go.
”There are no such thing as horses, a fact that is scientifically proven. We also support the science that claims horses to be a fruit. Horses is a fruit that does not exist.”
They are fruits. That doesn’t exist. Are you getting this? Horses are not animals, they are fruits. But that don’t matter really, because in the end they don’t even exist. No matter how much of a fruit they are.
Some 92 000 people have pressed the like button on the page that’s spreading this news; ”Hästar finns inte”, which translates to ”Horses doesn’t exist”. When I wrote about it earlier this week, they had only about 44 000 likes. They told me they wanted to change the way we’re thinking about horses… before it’s too late.
– A lot of people in the world still believes in horses, but luckily our society hasn’t collapsed thus far. The purpouse of this page is to get people to really think about it, and question what you’ve heard. We want to get the truth out, the pages anonymous 19-year-old founder told me over the Facebook chat.
As one could expect, swedish people interested in horses didn’t find this funny. At all. One Facebook wall post that spread quickly, commenting the stupidity of the horse-page, read ”you’re fucking stupid. I’ve been riding for, like, my whole life and you can’t just come and tell me I’ve trotted around on a fucking fruit that don’t even exist!”
Another person who found the page appalling was Carin Wrange, editor at the information site HästSverige (Horse Sweden), who told me the claims from “Horses doesn’t exist” were atrocious.
– I you’re seriously involved in the swedish horse sphere, you don’t have time for insipid things like this. To claim that horses are fruits, that’s not even worth commenting on. It’s like saying the earth is flat, she told me.
Quite a few pages contradicting the Horses doesn’t exist one as well, take this for example. “Horses doesn’t exist doesn’t exist”. Not to mention “Horses do exist! (a resistance group against the page “Horses doesn’t exist”)”. They’re getting their asses handed to them by the doubters, though. To quote one of them:
“Poor deluded people who have been cheated and deceived by the horse propaganda. What does it have to take for your eyes to open, so that you can understand the conspiratorial lies you are a part of?”
But ptroo, this whole thing didn’t end there. A mere day later, the god damned swedish minister for Rural Affairs contacted the swedish newspaper HD.se through his press secretary. And the swedish government, the people with the most power in all of Sweden, did this to say: Yes, horses do exist.
– The Minister of Rural Affairs, Mr. Eskil Erlandsson, wants it to be known that there is no reason to be worried. Horses exist. They even exist in a lot of different races, they said.
This lead me and my co-workers to the conclusion that the government wanted this story to go away. Why were they so afraid? Do they have something horse-related to hide? The answer we got didn’t make thing clearer.
– I can understand that fruits are hard to keep track of. Tomatoes and eggplants for example, that’s fruit, the press secretary of Mr. Erlandsson told us.
So there. Horses are not uncommon as internet phenomenons. Everybody knows about @horse_ebooks, bronies and the sewer horse, but here in Sweden we also have the old classical snel hest meme. Horses simply seems to have a bit of that cat quality. It’s almost a shame that they are fruits that doesn’t exist.
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